made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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