yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize