Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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