We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
