can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
