wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
