she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
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mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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