last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
