is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
