I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i dont even know how to be here
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
