Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
