I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
