Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
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The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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