I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
