I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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