My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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