she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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