one two three fourrrrnication!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
