dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
