The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
