I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it was like eating out sand paper
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
