wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
two words...techno handjob
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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