i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We don't watch enough power rangers
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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