just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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