You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
