i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
