i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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