What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize