The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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