There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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