I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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