I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
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He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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