My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize