yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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