So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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