the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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