He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
