so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
