I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
