Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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