Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
