She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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