I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
