pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize