I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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