You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we made out on top of his cat.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
