You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
