Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
