32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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