remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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