im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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