could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The air was thick with penises
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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