Cold hands, warm shart.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
