I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
