Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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