i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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