i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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