I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
