So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize