So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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